Throughout the NBA season, teams are constantly being made. All-Star teams, All-NBA teams, even All-Rookie teams. However, one team that no one’s ever made is the All-Crazy team, where the only qualifications for getting on the team are being an active player and an absolute head-case.
We can’t create a full five man lineup in the space available to us, but honestly, the three guys on this team can out-crazy any five man group in the entire NBA.
A vital building block for our team is Rajon Rondo. This guy single-handedly wrecked a Mavericks team that had been blitzing the league before his arrival. Rondo lazily took too long bringing up the ball on the court and got called for an 8-second violation. He was so awful that the Mavs benched him, their starting point guard…in the middle of the playoffs! He lost tens of millions of dollars for his craziness, and, even worse, now plays for Sacramento.
Matt Barnes is a cinch for the next spot. Did Barnes drive 95 miles to go fight Knicks coach Derek Fisher over Fisher’s romantic involvement with Barnes’ ex-wife? Yes. Did Barnes get fined $50,000 for insulting James Harden’s mom? Yes. Did Barnes start ISIS? Probably not. Barnes’ value fell so far that, over the summer, he was traded for Luke Ridnour. Does that even require a joke?
Last of all, let’s welcome Metta World Peace as the final member of our trio, although this is more of a career achievement award. All you need to know about his qualifications for being on this team is that he changed his name to Metta World Peace. Oh, and he was a main participant in the Malice at the Palace and received the longest suspension in the history of the NBA. That too.
I bet that, somewhere, Vivek Ranadive is sitting in his office reading this article, and is probably wondering why there’s no Crazy Executive of the Year Award. If there was, he’d have it in the bag. For the sake of Kings fans everywhere, let’s hope Ranadive doesn’t console himself by trading three first rounders to the Raptors for Patrick Patterson.